Ryan and Rosie still do not know the cause of their recurrent miscarriages (Image: Submitted)
A couple have described the devastating trauma of losing six babies to miscarriages in four years.
Ryan and Rosie Willday wanted to share their story because miscarriages are still largely a taboo subject, leaving couples dealing with their grief alone.
According to research by leading baby loss charity Tommy’s, approximately one in 100 women in the UK experience recurrent miscarriages, meaning three or more in a row.
Ryan, 29, and Rosie, 28, from Leicester, had been together for six years when they decided to start trying for a baby around the same time as their wedding in October 2019.
The couple sadly lost their first baby during their honeymoon in 2019 (Image: Submitted)
Ryan told The Mirror: “It was amazing to fall pregnant so quickly and we were on cloud nine flying to Tenerife for our honeymoon.
“But halfway through the trip, Rosie had a bleed and started feeling pain.
“We panicked and went to a local hospital but they didn’t have a gynaecologist.
“So after tests, we were sent away. On the plane home, Rosie’s bleeding heightened – it was dripping out of her.
“We rang 111 as soon as we landed and they thought she was haemorrhaging.
“At Leicester Royal Infirmary, we received the bad news that the baby had failed.”
They’ve always fallen pregnant quickly but suffer early miscarriage (Image: Submitted)
The pair were “absolutely gutted and disappointed” but were told to try again in a couple of months.
In January 2020, they conceived again and found themselves in the same situation, when Rosie suffered bleeding and a miscarriage at six-weeks.
“At that point, we started thinking ‘why?’ and the worst case scenario,” Ryan said.
“But to be seen by an NHS consultant, you need three consecutives miscarriages. So much heartache just to be tested.”
Ryan says the hardest part is watching Rosie ‘shaking in pain and bleeding’ (Image: Submitted)
Ryan, who works in medical records at Royal Leicester Infirmary, was thankful to be seen by a specialist doctor early – but their test results all came back positive.
“It was good news but bad news. We wanted to find something to fix,” Ryan admitted.
Rosie, who has a genetically petite frame and fast metabolism, was told to put weight on, so she spent the next year getting from 48kg to 52kg.
“In December 2020, we fell pregnant very quickly again. We’ve always considered ourselves lucky to conceive, but we can’t seem to hold onto the pregnancies,” Ryan said.
“We had our first nine-week scan and got to see our baby, but there was no heartbeat. That one hit us really hard.”
In summer 2021, Ryan and Rosie decided to try for the fourth time and conceived in just two months, but after six weeks they had a miscarriage.
“We did everything they recommended. It felt like our resources were exhausted and things still weren’t working. We had no real answers,” Ryan explained.
Ryan will be running the London Marathon for the first time to raise funds for Tommy’s (Image: Submitted)
Then the pair were referred to Tommy’s and met with Professor Siobhan Quenby for a consultation, who was “instantly brilliant”.
Rosie was sent for a biopsy and tested positive for endometritis, which led the couple to participate in a double-blind trial last year.
“This time, it took three months to get pregnant, which was a long time for us and made us feel quite positive,” Ryan explained.
“We had an early scan at five-weeks in November and they turned the screen round to us for the first time – they had never done that before.
“Then we were told it was twins by natural conception. It was the most crazy and amazing news, the whole family was in disbelief.”
Sadly, one month later, the couple were told one of the twin’s heart had stopped beating, and a few weeks after, the second twin devastatingly passed.
“The hardest part has been watching Rosie shaking in pain and not even being able to touch her because it hurts,” Ryan said.
“I feel helpless every single time and just want to wrap her up and make her feel better.
“It’s by far the worst bit about it all. There is nothing I can do but ride the wave and stroke her hair.”
Whether it’s buying each other’s favourite chocolates, sitting in silence or crying to a film, Ryan and Rosie have continued to support each other through six losses.
“Nobody knows how to address miscarriages, but there is so much support and love out there if you’re willing to open up,” Ryan said.
“I’m a big believer in encouraging people to talk and will always hashtag #starttheconversation on an anniversary or Mother’s Day.”
Ryan doesn’t think cliché messages help – like ‘let me know if you need anything’ – because it “puts the weight on the person who is going through it”.
“Instead, I think the best things to say would be ‘how are you both doing?’ or ‘let’s go for a walk tomorrow’. Setting a date and time to chat makes a difference,” he explained.
Ryan will be running the London Marathon for the first time on April 23 and said: “There was only one charity I could do it for.”
The couple still do not know the cause of their pregnancy losses, though are remaining hopeful to try for their seventh baby, with the support of Tommy’s, family and friends.
