For couples, moving in together is an exhilarating milestone. But it does require a lot of adjustment, from both sides. One of the most difficult aspects, regarding which some couples struggle to adjust, is sharing a bed. Snoring, differing sleep patterns and blanket hogging, all can negatively affect the sleep quality of you and your partner. These might also lead to fights between the two. What can be done, then, to have a good sleep without affecting your relationship?
To improve overall sleep quality, lessen conflict and have their own space, many couples decide to have something called a sleep divorce. When two people live together but decide to sleep in different beds or bedrooms to get more rest, this is referred to as a sleep divorce.
Sleeping in separate beds or rooms is frequently interpreted as a sign of an unstable or unhappy relationship. But in this scenario, such isn’t the case. According to relationship therapist Weena Cullins, LCMFT, “a sleep divorce arises when partners make a conscious decision to break sleeping ties for the foreseeable future, unlike when a partner chooses to sleep elsewhere for a single night or unintentionally nods out on the sofa.”
Depending on the circumstance, sleep divorce agreements may be permanent or perhaps temporary. Some couples, for instance, may share a bed for the bulk of the year but separate during a pregnancy or illness. Other reasons include breathing problems, such as sleep apnea, snoring, stealing blankets and pillows, sleeping cross-legged, using too much bed space, watching late-night television, browsing social media, different patterns of sleep and having trouble sleeping.
Lack of sexual desire or connection is another less-spoken reason, why some couples opt for a sleep divorce, according to Weena. “One spouse may decide to deliberately sleep in a different room to prevent the unwelcome requests when they think their partner may approach them for snuggling or sex; while the other one doesn’t seek physical connection.”
People do sleep better when they have a spouse, according to certain research. But those who practise sleep divorce, know that it’s not necessary to share a bed for a relationship to be successful. Without necessarily spending the night next to one another, couples can discover various ways to deepen their intimacy, and the sleep separation may even enable them to each receive the additional rest that they both require.
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