On the parenting forum Mumsnet, a woman shared her concern over her parents not helping with childcare and asked others for advice. “Is it really that unusual that my family doesn’t help with childcare?” she asked. The woman explained that she is a single parent and that any time she mentions to people that her ex-husband isn’t involved, so she doesn’t get nights off or time to herself, she gets comments like “Don’t you have parents” or “What about your family?”.
However, her family doesn’t help with childcare, and “that’s totally fine, I don’t expect them to”, she said.
She complained about people being totally “shocked” when she says her family doesn’t help her with looking after the children.
Hundreds of mums took to the comments section and many admitted that they have similar situations at home.
A woman with username @Imperfect10 explained that when her second child was born, her parents told her that “they thought it was terrible that grandparents were being used as free childcare and they wouldn’t be doing that”.
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“And they haven’t,” she said, despite the fact that her own grandparents had her and her brother through multiple holidays to give their parents a break.
Another mum, @julz87, also said that her parents don’t look after her child and she has had to miss out on work events many times.
“People were asking why my parents couldn’t have him for the night. Like they couldn’t understand why that wouldn’t be an option.”
The woman added that she and her husband have to book off days from work to spend time alone together and admitted that “it’s a bit s*** but we just live on”.
A Mumsnet forum user with username @SpringIsTooFarAway opined that “it’s pretty shocking for nobody in your family to want to spend time independently with your children”.
She said that regular childcare is more unusual but in her experience, it is the norm for grandparents.
The woman explained that she is a single mum and has never had any family help and admitted that all her friends “are shocked by how unsupportive my family is”.
“I think it’s very sad when extended family don’t establish any independent relationship with children without parents constantly there to facilitate it for them. In the end, it is them who will miss out on a close relationship,” she opined.
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Pensions Minister Steve Webb explained: “Many grandparents are working hard all year round looking after their grandchildren, and it is important that they do not damage their own state pension rights as a result.
“Such grandparents are contributing to society just as much as someone in a paid job and should therefore be entitled to the same protection for their state pension as if they were in work.
“The new system of transferable National Insurance credits means that grandparents need no longer lose out on building up a full state pension just because they are caring for a grandchild.”
