My nephew was beautiful and courageous. The love and acceptance of his family was not enough | Stephen Jones

There are 10 sitting days remaining in the 46th Parliament.

There is a crisis in our aged care system. Hundreds of Australians are dying in understaffed, underfunded homes and yet this Government is doing nothing about it.

Two years ago the Government promised to introduce a federal anti-corruption commission. The attorney general told us yesterday that no such promise will be delivered.

There are skills shortages and supply shortages which are preventing businesses from opening and the economy recovering.

Interest rates will rise which will make existing cost of living pressures worse.

These are the matters we should be focusing on in the final weeks of this Parliament.

Instead we are debating a Bill which pleases no-one.

I support freedom of religion. I understand many in our community who want to see the existing laws strengthened to protect their freedom of religious expression. I support that too. Although we are a long way from the days when employers could lawfully place ads in newspapers that say Catholics need not apply – I understand the desire for a greater recognition and rights for people of faith.

The sometimes toxic debate that has been unleashed by the prime minister has put a spotlight on the fact that no rights are unlimited. Where the exercise of one person’s rights comes crashing up against another person’s freedoms we need to find a solution. It can be done. It is the role of this parliament to do that.

The contest of ideas and ways of life is dealt with by social norms, civility and human decency – or not. Unfortunately the law has a very blunt way of doing it.

If we are to do this … Then we must do it properly. If we are to believe the reports in today’s paper, the Government has failed to bring forward a law which protects children.

For me this is not an academic issue.

Gay Yes – Trans No

Last week my family said farewell to my nephew Ollie. He was just 15 when he took his own life. He was a beautiful, creative, courageous young man. He was loved and accepted by his parents, brothers and friends. His mum and dad are in anguish. We all are. He was gay. He was uncertain about his gender and struggled with his mental health. Now he is gone and we will no longer be able to love him and support him on his journey throughout life. Clearly the love and acceptance of his family and friends was not enough.

My own son is also a beautiful, creative, intelligent 14 year old. He designs and makes clothes, is a gifted makeup artist, moves seamlessly between the wardrobes of men and women. He wears heels that give me vertigo and has more handbags than his sister.

He has more courage than any boy I have met. He swims against the tide.

I love and support him unconditionally and brag about his talents to whoever will listen.

But I worry myself sick every time he leaves the house. I know that the love and protection that he enjoys with his mother, with his friends and family is very different to the reception he may receive in the world outside.

Could this be the day when we get a call telling us that something has happened? That he has been attacked just for being who he is?

This is about my kids, but it’s not … this is about the families and every child who has the courage to swim against the tide just to be themselves.

Walk in their shoes

Earlier today the prime minister said we should exercise our power with love. It is so easy to giggle and dismiss a phrase like that … But I agree. I’m asking the prime minister to reflect on those words as we consider this Bill.

I’d ask the prime minister and every other member in this place to put themselves in the shoes of the parents or the heels of their kids as they step out in public.

What message do we want to this Parliament to send to these kids. Are they as loved and cherished and respected as every other kid? Surely we aren’t saying to them – it’s OK if you are gay … Just as long as we can’t see it.

Because the thing that every parent of every gay or trans kid knows is that the love and protection that we provide for them inside our homes and families is not enough.

At some stage they have to step out into the world and deal with it as it is.

So we as parliamentarians have the power to shape that world … by what we do and what we say. What message do we want to send to our kids?

Who is Australia

You know there’s a simple ease in which members of this place toss sausages at a charity BBQ, drink a beer, place a cap on our head and smile for a camera, put a footy jumper on and cheer for our favourite team. I do it regularly.

And when we do it we know that we are signalling to Australia that we are just like you … or at least that Australia as we imagine it to be.

But the fact is Australia is a much more diverse place than we project from our pulpit in this place.

Being an Aussie is much more complex than punting on the Melbourne Cup or shouting “go Sharkies”.

It is the high responsibility of us called to this place to reflect and shape the sort of Australia we want to have.

It’s a bloody diverse place.

It is black and white and brown. It prays in a Church, in a mosque, at a shrine, in a hall, or on a surfboard just behind the breaking waves.

It’s men and women, it’s straight and gay and trans and intersex … the whole bloody lot.

We are the Australia of Storm Boy, of Breaker Morant, of Puberty Blues and Priscilla Queen of the Desert.

It not easy crafting a national story that includes us all – but that’s our job. And that national story must have a place for all of us and all our kids – how we imagine them.

But more importantly how they are. If a young kid has the courage to be themselves and own their identity – the least, the very least we can do is say “welcome”.

There have been too many funerals and too many grieving families. We have in our gift the power to do something.

Let’s not let it pass.

• Stephen Jones is the shadow assistant treasurer and shadow minister for financial services

• This is an edited transcript of a speech given to parliament during the debate on the government’s religious discrimination bill