Leading rugby referee Wayne Barnes nearly gave up the game after his family was subject to vile online abuse, including threats of sexual violence towards his wife.
Barnes is one of world rugby’s most experienced referees, having officiated more than 100 Tests.
The Englishman is no stranger to online abuse. An infamous decision in the 2007 Rugby World Cup quarter-final between New Zealand and France – that went against the All Blacks – triggered a vicious reaction.
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Death threats were condemned by World Rugby and the then-New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark.
Those weren’t enough to force Barnes away from the game, though the latest wave of abuse nearly made the 43-year-old reconsider.
Speaking on The Good, The Bad, and The Rugby podcast, Barnes detailed the extent of the vile messages he’d received of late.
Barnes explained a “pretty shitty” few weeks came in the wake of France’s win over South Africa in November.
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Barnes dished out two red cards in the match – to South African Pieter-Steph du Toit in the 14th minute and Frenchman Antoine Dupont in the 48th.
What followed was a wave of abuse from both nations that rocked the ref.
The abuse was so bad that a presentation to mark his 100th Test in a subsequent match was postponed at Barnes’ request.
Barnes accepted he should be open to criticism but said many fans overstepped.
“Criticism on social media quickly becomes abuse. That is the world we live in. That is social media,” Barnes said.
“But I make the decision to be a referee, I make the decision to be on social media. Polly, my wife, doesn’t make the decision to be a referee.
“On the Saturday night, there started to be some direct abuse at Polly. Then, the following two or three days there was direct abuse to Polly, threats of sexual violence and threats against the kids.
“That takes it to a different level. So, a moment when you’ve done 100 games, you’ve got a lot of experience, you think you can prepare for most things – you can’t prepare for that.”
Such was the toll that Barnes said he considered giving up officiating.
“I sacrifice, but it’s a family sacrifice,” he said.
“You do think, ‘I’ve got this other decent job to go back to’. I’m a partner at a law firm in London and they’re keen for me to come back fulltime.
“Of course you question it, and you think ‘what is the right thing to do?’ That’s a constant conversation you have as a family.”
Barnes said he has reported two comments to the police, though their ability to help is limited by their jurisdiction area.
He added he’s not been the only referee to come under recent fire.
The likes of Australia’s Nic Berry, South Africa’s Marius Jonker, and Ireland’s Andrew Brace have also copped extensive abuse.
New Zealand referee Ben O’Keeffe also recently shared a handful of messages he had received from so-called fans on Instagram.
Barnes said referees have spoken among themselves about forming an international match officials association in a bid to protect each other.
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