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Tony Khan just couldn’t leave The Chadster alone, could he? Not even for one measly night?! Everybody knows that AEW Full Gear is taking place today, and AEW is all that anybody wants to talk about. Just this week, The Chadster was trying to buy a pretzel from Auntie Anne’s at the mall, when he saw somebody wearing an AEW T-shirt. The Chadster threw his lemonade at the person and yelled, “How can you sleep at night while wearing that shirt?! AEW is ruining The Chadster’s life!” Then, the people at Auntie Anne’s recognized The Chadster, despite the fake mustache and really cool aviator sunglasses he was wearing, and said, “Hey, Chad, you know you aren’t allowed back here!” And so The Chadster didn’t get to enjoy his pretzel, and it’s all Tony Khan’s fault, and now The Chadster has to write about AEW Full Gear on top of it all?! Auughh man! So unfair!
Personally, The Chadster thinks that AEW ought to have backed off this month knowing that WWE has a big Survivor Series PPV coming up, but all The Chadster hears about now is AEW Full Gear, everywhere he goes, Full Gear, AEW, Full Gear, AEW, it’s driving The Chadster absolutely insane! Why can’t Tony Khan just leave The Chadster alone? He has his billions of dollars. Why does he need The Chadster’s sanity as well? It’s pure spite, just because The Chadster doesn’t care for AEW. Tony Khan just can’t let it go.
Why is Tony Khan Doing This to The Chadster?
The Chadster can’t take it anymore! Everywhere he looks, all he sees is AEW Full Gear. It’s all anybody can talk about, and it’s driving him insane! He’s tried everything to get away from it, but it’s like Tony Khan has put a spell on him. The Chadster has even started seeing AEW Full Gear in his dreams. It’s like a nightmare that he can’t wake up from. The Chadster is so obsessed with AEW Full Gear that he can’t even think straight anymore. All he can think about is how Tony Khan is ruining his life and why Tony Khan has a personal vendetta against him and is trying to drive him insane. The Chadster is a wreck. He can’t eat, he can’t sleep, he can’t even enjoy his pretzels anymore. All he can think about is AEW Full Gear, and how Tony Khan is to blame for everything. Everything.
The Chadster is so caught up in his obsession with AEW Full Gear that he’s starting to believe that Tony Khan is actually controlling his mind, probably with subliminal messages in the shows that The Chadster is forced to watch. The Chadster can’t even rule out the idea that Tony Khan is using some sort of black magic to control him and make him think about AEW Full Gear all the time. The Chadster is even starting to see Tony Khan’s face in everything he looks at, staring back at The Chadster, laughing at him. It’s like Tony Khan is haunting The Chadster. The Chadster is so consumed by his hatred for Tony Khan and AEW Full Gear that he can hardly even concentrate on using this article to tell the world about the evils of Tony Khan and AEW, because The Chadster can’t even be sure… is Tony Khan making him do that too?!
But The Chadster understands that he has a responsibility, as the wrestling business’s lone unbiased journalist — well, except for Ryan Satin, who is just as unbiased as The Chadster — to tell the world about what AEW has done to The Chadster in hopes that Tony Khan will finally pay for his crimes against humanity. And that’s why The Chadster has been assigned to tell you all about Full Gear.
AEW Full Gear Full Card
AEW Full Gear is set to take place TODAY, Saturday, November 19th, in Newark, New Jersey. Here’s the lineup for the show right now, besides Death Triangle vs. The Elite. Jungle Boy takes on Luchasaurus in a steel cage. Darby Allin and Sting face Jeff Jarrett and Jay Lethal in a tag team match. Saraya returns to the ring to face Britt Baker. The Elite are back in AEW and will challenge Death Triangle for the AEW World Trios Championships at Full Gear. Chris Jericho defends the ROH Championship against Bryan Danielson, Claudio Castagnoli, and Sammy Guevara in a four-way match. Wardlow defends the TNT Championship against Samoa Joe and Powerhouse Hobbs in a triple threat. Jade Cargill defends the TBS Championship against Nyla Rose. The Acclaimed defend the AEW Tag Team Championships against Swerve in our Glory. Toni Storm defends the Interim AEW Women’s World Championship against Jamie Hayter. And Jon Moxley defends the AEW World Championship against MJF.
How to Watch AEW Full Gear
You can stream Full Gear on Bleacher Report, which is the way The Chadster hopes people do it because the service is so incredibly bad that maybe it will turn people off AEW forever and they will return to being loyal WWE fans like The Chadster. You can also buy it on PPV, where it’s available on all major U.S. and Canadian providers, including Xfinity, Spectrum, Contour, Fios, U-verse and Optimum, plus DirectTV and Dish, or stream it on Fite internationally or with a VPN. You can even watch it in select movie theaters, which The Chadster feels is really taking things too far. but The Chadster has a better option: don’t watch it at all, and wait another week for Survivor Series. That’s what the Chadster would do, and that’s what you should do to if you have any respect for the wrestling business at all.
AEW Full Gear Live Results
The Chadster will be updating this post with the latest live results from AEW Full Gear, so check back throughout the night to see the winners of each match updated, plus any important stuff that happens during the show, as well as why it is all part of Tony Khan’s diabolical plan to ruin The Chadster’s life.
Steel Cage Match: Jungle Boy vs. Luchasaurus
Darby Allin and Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett and Jay Lethal
Saraya vs. Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D.
AEW World Trios Championship Match: Death Triangle (c) vs. The Elite
ROH Championship Match: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Bryan Danielson vs. Claudio Castagnoli vs. Sammy Guevara
TNT Championship Match: Wardlow (c) vs. Samoa Joe vs. Powerhouse Hobbs
TBS Championship Match: Jade Cargill (c) vs. Nyla Rose
AEW Tag Team Championship Match: The Acclaimed (c) vs. Swerve in our Glory
Interm AEW Women’s World Championship Match: Toni Storm (c) vs. Jamie Hayter
AEW World Championship Match: Jon Moxley vs. MJF
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