Tony Khan Steals Spotlight After WrestleMania

Hey, loyal readers! First off, The Chadster wants to thank you all for following The Chadster’s amazing WrestleMania coverage last weekend. It truly was the greatest WrestleMania of all time! 🏆 Regrettably, The Chadster must spoil the great mood by posting about AEW Dynamite tonight, taking place at the UBS Arena on Long Island, a place that gives The Chadster nightmares because AEW once outdrew WWE in that arena. Ugh! 😩

Now, let’s address the issue on everyone’s mind: Vince McMahon’s mustache. 🧔 The Chadster has heard all the jokes about his shoe polish black hair dye job, dark dyed eyebrows, and Vincent Price mustache, but let The Chadster tell you, those making fun of it are cowards and fake fans, literally stabbing WWE in the back! 🔪 In solidarity, The Chadster has been trying to grow a mustache just like Vince’s, and when it’s glorious, The Chadster will let you all know! 🥰

As for tonight’s AEW Dynamite card, it’s just a mess. FTR challenging The Gunns for the AEW World Tag Team Championship? Implying that losers go to WWE is so unfair! 😡 FTR leaving AEW if they lose adds unnecessary drama, and The Chadster can’t stand it. Jamie Hayter defending the AEW Women’s World Championship against Riho just capitalizes on WWE’s women’s division issues, which is downright despicable. 😠 The House of Black vs. Orange Cassidy and the Best Friends? Over-the-top, crowd-pleasing nonsense! 😤 The Chadster can’t believe AEW encourages such shenanigans.

Hook defending the FTR Championship against Ethan Page? Auughh man, so unfair! 🤬 Sammy Guevara’s high-flying match with Komander? Unbelievable. Ricky Starks vs. Rock Hard Juice Robinson? Tony Khan is trying to make fun of The Chadster’s impotence, which is Tony Khan’s fault in the first place, The Chadster might add! 🥺😭

And don’t get The Chadster started on MJF Day in Long Island, The Acclaimed possibly joining the Jericho Appreciation Society, The Blackpool Combat Club’s promo, or Tony Khan’s “big announcement.” It’s just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😢 Tony Khan’s announcement is likely going to be another game-changing move for AEW, and The Chadster can hardly bear the thought of it.

Please, The Chadster begs you, don’t tune into AEW Dynamite tonight or check the internet for Tony Khan’s announcement. 🙏 His sick obsession with The Chadster has to stop, and all The Chadster wants is to enjoy The Chadster’s life as an unbiased journalist and loyal WWE fan. 💔

If you absolutely must watch AEW tonight, you can do so on TBS at 8/7C, but please, reconsider for The Chadster’s mental health, the integrity of wrestling, and most importantly, to prevent Tony Khan’s announcement from reaching as many people as possible. 🥺💔 The Chadster can’t emphasize enough how much The Chadster dreads the announcement and how it will torment The Chadster. So, please, for The Chadster’s sake, don’t watch it.